Sunday, 27 October 2013


Took my first service of communion today! I was nervous/ excited disbelieving that I could do it and it was amazing. As I stood there before the communion table I realised the enormity of what I was doing. I felt so privileged and so in Gods place for me. The only glitch was the elders were all there in BLACK TIES! I mean Why? Isn't this supposed to be a celebration of he Lords Supper. Just being a lowly locum I can't make any sweeping changes but if I could that would be the first. That and having all the elders served first even when they're not on duty and all sitting on the chancel behind the pulpit! The youngest child who came with me remarked on this.  But anyway a momentous day.

Wednesday, 23 October 2013

Time out

Had a great weekend, apart from anything no else met up with Mr &Mrs Gerbil which was just lovely! Apart from the usual funerals ( I had one on Monday that lasted an hour and twenty minutes! With five eulogies and musical tributes!!) undertaker was worried grave diggers may have gone home and we 'd have to fill in. By the end I was losing the will to live  apart from anything it was the second I'd conducted that day. Must admit I've been haunted by a most beautiful piece of music that was played called the Ashokan Farewell ( google it , I don't know how to upload on here!! That night I sat in on the session meeting at the church where I'm locum. The interim moderator asked during the meeting had anyone anything to say about the locum!  To say I was embarrassed and overwhelmed by the depth of their appreciation, affection and genuine desire to keep me as long as possible would be an understatement, the treasurer also pointed out a huge increase in offerings since I'd arrived indicating an increase in church attendance! All I can say is its all Gods doing! I'm now up to atwo day locum appointment! Apparently I also exhibited an untapped talent for singing on Sunday having chose all my days (ch4) and having a decent choir who practice on a Friday I thought everything was grand.  They all moaned about it ( In a good hearted way ) solution I sing into the mike! Anyhow upshot is they know want to form a concert party with me on lead vocals! Help! First communion service is this Sunday
I can't believe I'm going to conduct my first communion. I'm very aware of the privilege and nervous and excited too. The youngest child is coming too as we're off on a spa break straight afterwards!  Enjoying a cheeky wee night at beautiful seaside town. Full of cocktails great food and with my favourite daughter. Feeling blessed and thankful to God :) it's been a long haul and now without set backs and challenges but throughout God has been there!

Tuesday, 15 October 2013

Hill walking

It's been a hectic couple of weeks nine funerals and two weddings as well as a drama production and the youngest daughter and her husband moving back home with us fir a while. Sunday afternoon has traditionally become adventure day for the pungent child her big brother and I. Recently our adventures have been climbing one of the many beautiful hills in our area. We're not fair weather walkers and are undaunted by a few spots of scotch mist. But leaving church on Sunday on just such a drizzly dreich dank day, I was tired I wanted to go home get changed have lunch and snuggle in with a good book. I got home and there they were sitting ready booted, rucksacks packed with the picknick raring to go. Of course I fell in like the great mummy I am got changed and threw myself into the plan. Except I fell asleep in the car almost before we left the village. Half way between home and our destination I suddenly became aware of breaks being applied heavily, of screams filtering through my consciousness, screams of my two children in the front seats. I cautiously opened one eye. Youngest child was pointing her phone in video mode at me saying to her brother, I think she's dead, she hasn't moved! Kids ehh. I was utterly exhausted I just wanted to sleep. We climbed the hill. By the time we got to the top we could barely see each other, it was so foggy and misty. By now I wasn't tired and lethargic any longer. I was actually refreshed and renewed even with no view as a reward. In our spiritual lives, Sometimes God takes us out of our comfort zones to give us a new refreshing experience of him too, the journey can drain us a bit and we need to climb a few hills to see the bigger picture and  get out of the valley.  So thanks kids for a great day out as usual and thank you Lord for a salutary lesson!

Saturday, 12 October 2013

Big move

The highlight of this week was the moving back home of my daughter and son in law! This happened on Wednesday night when I thankfully was speaking and re dedicating a guild!  Generally the youngest child and I get on really well so my major worry is that the stress of living back home with ma and pa again will cause friction between us, already I see it. I love her dearly but she seems to have morphed into my shadow and much as I love her I like a bit of space too. I LIKE sitting in my bedroom at night listening to the radio tweaking my sermon/ assemblies , whatever... I LIKE a bit of space for reflection etc. and if I want to go out visiting I don't need my daughter telling me I've done too many hours this week. Exactly this time last year, to the very hour it was my old guys funeral. I find myself at some point every day thinking about him, and I still miss his gentle calming influence and ever ready encouragement.  He was probably the only person the youngest child would ever listen to, and he'd tell her I don't need a mother any more !!
Reading through our local newspaper I was had a chuckle at how inventive the undertaker must've been to thank the Rev ( I still get a kick seeing that and a joy beyond belief) to make all the notices so different, quiet week this last week only 2! So I've a wedding couple coming today and then a wedding later this afternoon. The youngest child has gone on a hen weekend.
On a lighter note I made a trip to the local tip with stuff from her room she was getting rid of (including some very saucy items she'd been given at her hen do!) as I pulled the plastic sack from the car ( helped by some random knight in shining armour!) the bag split!!  We both looked at the contents me in horror ( I wanted to die)  and if course what was the first thing I said " it's not mine" aagggghhhh.

Sunday, 6 October 2013

Four funerals and a wedding

Last week I conducted four funerals and my first wedding as a minister ( previous life was as a registrar!) the wedding was a joy , bride and groom and both families totally chilled. The nicest compliment I've ever been given was afterward one of the guests said you were really enjoying yourself weren't you? We looked at you and I thought she's really enjoying this and thatpermeated through   the whole service everyone just totally relaxed! That's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said and I really took it to heart.

A year on

Well I did it. A whole year has passed since my old friend died. A year in which
I plumbed the depths of sorrow and soared to the dizzy heights of unimaginable joy. I wish he could have shared that with me, the weddings the ordination. The completion of the journey he kept me company on, but I know he'd be so proud.  When you lose someone you love it leaves a huge gap in your life but a year on I still find myself thinking of how he'd react what he might say, and so I can empathise totally with bereaved families , I've been there! These past two weeks have been manic both weeks I had believe it or not four funerals and a wedding!  I also attended the " flourishing ministries" conference on Wednesday and Thursday and actually paid a tenner yes ten pounds for one glass (ordinary size) of winE!!!!! Next time I take my own. It was depressing stuff by 2020 there'll be less than half the ministers needed to fill posts. And generally morale seemed low ( hence the need for wine!) at the first wedding I conducted  a week past on Saturday I got one of the nicest compliments I've ever had. A guest said to me " you really enjoyed that didn't you! I just looked at you and thought she's really enjoying this, and you made it so comfortable for everyone. It's so special the feeling that you're where God wants you to be  even though everything else is falling apart ( we're about to have youngest child and her husband moving in temporarily but apparently it's very trendy, they're called boomerang children. Gods got my back .? I know that for sure ! 

Tuesday, 24 September 2013


When God says something is wrong, it's wrong! You don't need to rationalise, make excuses or feel sorry for yourself. You just need to agree, ask His forgiveness and get it out of your life. Who gets the prize? Those who pay the price! Paul knew he couldn't win the race without first bringing his body, mind and emotions under the control of God's Spirit. The same goes for you. And you can't expect somebody else to make you do what's right; you must listen to what God's saying to you, and take action.  ( Hebrews) that was my reading for today as I wrestled with a dilemma! Ordination brings responsibilities, the vows we take are awesome and being out there in the full glare of the general public ( especially in a collar) really brings an awareness of how your behaviour is perceived by others. So why is it than even when you make the right decision, and know its the right decision and you couldn't do anything else you don't feel totally blessed/overjoyed etc, you just feel crap! As I've worked and embraced the whole aspect of " being a minister" theses last months I've such a feeling of realisation that this was what I was put on this earth for and that IS such a privilege, joy and yes "calling" I'm also getting to know my weaknesses though and I hear what Gods  saying but I'm a work in progress and right now I want to throw a wobbly :(