Presbytery

Once again it was presbytery and once again though I've been a ministers wife for thirty years, I was shocked at the lack of grace between some of the ministers at presbytery. I'm fairly new to active presbytery and committees and so the ill will and refusal of some ministers to move with the times for the good of all has saddened me. I travelled with the presbytery elder from my previous attachment whose totally new to church court, is a retired GP and is now appalled at how the CofS conducts itself. The high point was the travel though. This guy has he most amazing vehicle. It's massive I literallyhad to climb into it. It's got heated seats ( bit disconcerting till he told me) its got surround sound, the acceleration felt like being in a plane taking off! I told they ought child he ws going mr a lift, her retort better wrap up well then in case it's the Harley! Yep he's got one of those too. How cool would that be turning up to presbytery on the back of a Harley  Davidson!!  I mentioned to the retired Doc what she'd  said and his reply. Great idea for the summer! Yay canny wait!

Pleased to be there

I was struck by a revelation on Sunday as I arrived at my placement. I was really pleased to be there. I have started to really settle in to both congregations and feel at home. In fact on arrival at the first church I was told there was a present for me with my coffee in the vestry. A box of  walnut whips arising from one of my " bits in my own churches news letter!" It's a long story! But I was really touched.  On top of that my supervisor asked about a funeral I'd taken 2 weeks ago and said they'd asked for me again because having buried the wife, the husband has now died and the family want me. To conduct his funeral, talk about continuity.  I mentioned to my supervisor how settled I was feeling yesterday and he agreed that it seems like I've been there forever. So positiv.e thoughts. We also tackled the learning and serving covenant to be in aSAP whew that was a task! Next challenge Advent Assembly at Academy tomorrow my most exacting audience!  And presbytery tomorrow night.

Bible Study

Pleased with the way the new Bible Study  my supervisor got me to start, is going. Numbers up from 6 to 12 great group of people who genuinely want to learn about Gods word. They also were all really encouraging about the service I took on Sunday and  gave lots of positive feed back which was lovely. At the end a man ( the only man) asked for a word in private. He then proceeded to tell me he couldn't hear much of what I said on Sunday and he used to be a lecturer and could lecture to a hall of 300 people and could tell if one person wasn't picking up what he was saying.  He also couldn't see me. I'm  not quite 5 feet tall. The church is HUGE they all sit at the back. The voice I can do something about though I've never had that comment before, the height? I suggested perhaps sitting nearer the front would help. I should have left feeling up beat and positive having had a good night. What did I go on about to Lucy the dogs dad when I got in. The one negative comment from the whole night had pulled me down. So now I know I'm not used to criticism ( not when I'm preaching  anyway) and perhaps I don't react well to it. Definitely need to work on that!

Clean sweep

Took both services as pulpit supply at my probationary placement. My supervising minister is in Israel! Services both went well and I feel I'm getting to know the congregations now. They are both very supportive especially the second town charge who seem to  feel an affinity with me and an affection for me. The only glitch was the sunday school wereat the second service and my supervisor told me a few weeks ago they wouldn't be in church again till Easter! Anyway at shot notice managed to recall a suitable talk which went down well with both adults and kids. I felt the services ran smoother yesterday mainly because there was just me and we didn't have to faff about with changing the microphone over, it was very busy week last week so finding blogging time difficult, but maybe I need to look at my time management. Took time out last night to go to cinema to see Breaking Dawn with the kids. Brilliant piece of escapism but soo tense. With so much preparation for services, Bible Study, school assemblies its quite a discipline to keep time for personal reflection with God, so there again, need to look at time management and what I can "reasonably" do. But lectionariy passage allowed me to talk about my passion for vacuum cleaner yesterday, sad but true!

Settling in

Have really enjoyed this week at my placement. Been into the schools with supervisor,  met head teachers etc in preparation for next couple of weeks when supervisor's away and I'm covering. Looking forward to it. Conducted such a sad funeral on Wenesday, the widower has advanced Parkinson's and his wife was his primary carer, with her death I think the responsibility will fall to the youngest daughter who still lives at home. I think there's a definite pastoral situation there, I felt such a burden for her, having been a carer myself.  I'm working my way through my grief but the amazing thing is when I'm preaching, conducting funerals, school assemblies Bible studies I feel such a peace and confidence that I'm right where God wants me to be at other times I'm a total wreck. Rewind to Tuesday when I arrived in town to go shopping looked in my bag, no purse... But a pair of furry pink slippers. Where was my purse? At the bottom of the stairs! Put flowers on my Oldsters grave today in spite of the fact that I know he'd not approve as t he rabbit population dessimate them as fast as they appear but I did it anyway. Graves are funny things I mean I know he's not there and it goes against all my Christian beliefs and I didn't even feel closer to him. Confused about this!

Back to earth

Seems like I've been lulled into a sense of false security. Even before we left cold blustery but utterly peace inducing Troon, my supervising minister was on phone asking if I'd do funeral on Wednesday. I said I would be home later and would check diary. Now it seems I've got attendance and participation in Sundays service, a funeral visit a debriefing meeting on Monday, leading Bible Study on Tuesday, funeral on Wednesday, primary school assemblies on Thursday and Friday, now it might seem like I'm about to have moan but every trip I make to my placements a round trip of thirty odd miles, funeral will be sixty odd as its a cremation, my placement including preparation is ten hours a week, somehow I'm thinking this isn't going to add up. I've also to show him notes made at pre funeral visit. Then take my service notes inc prayers to go over with him next week. Also he may make an appearance at the funeral. Now I am moaning. I've conducted around a hundred funerals in the past six years whilst doing pastoral cover and also by request of families. I know I sound grumpy but I'm supposed to be observing and deepening my understanding of the sacraments, for the past six years I've led weekly school assemblies in my attachment so I'm feeling frustrated at what seems to e very much a backward step I'm wondering if I'm being taught a bit about humility anyhow, travelling expenses are going to o through the roof! Trying to figure out what's going on and do i need to sort out an attitude problem.

Total R& R

Thanks to my brilliant youngest child and middle child. I've been sent away for a break in the wake of  caring/ bereavement etc. so youngest child and I are at Troon, enjoying total chillaxing. My family have been so supportive over these last months and I know I'm truly blessed. I've thought a lot about how different my life is now. We've actually booked in for an extra day (i could never have done that before I'd have to get back for my oldster) I miss him so much. He encouraged me in everything I did, I bounced ideas off him, we laughed about the scrapes I got into (often in my case) and I always phoned him when I was on my home from wherever I'd been. It's a month tomorrow since he died how long will I feel so bereft and is tis normal. I try to steer my thoughts away from him when I'm on my own as I miss him so much it's like a dead weight.  Everything is tinged a bit with a deep sadness and that makes me feel guilty.  Just realised how positive this blog began and how it developed, sorry folks:(