Friday, 27 July 2012
Away with the youngest child for a few days, booked at hotel, arrived had been upgraded to a suite and the oldest child had had wine ent to our room and booked s spa treatments for our birthdays which are both this week, feel totally blessed, but, throw into the mix my old Octogenarian is ill and I'm not there, feel torn in two, he needs me but can't let my daughter down. Praying for a healing for my old man till I can get back to him:((
Conducted strangest ( or so I thought) funeral ever. Just me the widow the pet dog and the deceased at the crematorium. This was a couple who had lived an insular life, 47 years together, no family. I thought it would be strange, the undertaker offered to sit with the widow but she said she was fine. In the end it was poignant and moving as she walked to the coffin during the playing of a favourite piece of music and took her farewell of her husband, while the dog wandered around, it was, I felt, a fond farewell and nt in the least strange.
Thursday, 19 July 2012
So did the service of Kirkin the Cornet on Sunday which went well, the word went well and was well received and I think, was appropriate. The whole service was filmed and I've just watched the DvD and I've got a " habit" I fiddle with my hands, all the more apparent because I was in the pulpit and the man filming was in the gallery we had classes years ago at college where you were filmed and your " habits" discussed I didn't have any then so I must have picked them up over the years. I know there's nothing more distracting than a " habit" in the pulpit so I'm going to have to work on getting rid of that. My minister at my attachment touches his specs and moves from foot to foot which everyone finds very distracting so I dont want that to happen, so any advice on getting rid of bad distracting habits gratefully received, also it's good to be made aware of your foibles so the use of a video at a service might be helpful once in a while!
Sunday, 15 July 2012
Had two services today, usual 9.30 looking at Shadrach meshach and abednigo it went fine except guy I'd asked to do intercessions went on longer than sermon! In spite of fact I'd asked him to be brief Agghh! Second service traditional with the added Kirkin of Cornet where the re nenactment of the town becoming a royal burgh is remembered. So a huge congregation. Sermon has to be pitched at non church goers as well as regulars and lots of teens and twenties. It seemed to work well, but I felt I was truly challenged as I'm running on empty at the moment and feeling very emotional, my oldie seems to have given in sinc e he's found out how ill he is so whatever came through was all God, service was filmed so be interesting to see. Just feel so desperately sad.
Tuesday, 10 July 2012
Found out yesterday that the old friend I look after and who we've made part of our family has widespread cancer, not a totally unexpected result but still really upsetting for me. We went from his consultant straight to the cancer unit and discussed palliative care and his wishes re resuscitation ( which was very unexpected) he's so pragmatic about the whole thing and I'm a quivering wreck) but he cdoesnt want sad faces! I was really worried that in my emotional state I had a funeral to conduct today when everything was so raw still I don't know how I managed but all I know is I prayed and handed everything over to God and it was absolutely fine and everyone was really appreciative and nothing was amiss. My dearest wish now is that he lasts to see me ordained but I know realistically it's very unlikely but that's my prayer.
Sunday, 8 July 2012
Busy week with services and funerals and calls to hospital to see those in extremis, the most moving visit was last night when I prayed with a very old lady who was dying as I held her hand she reached out and pulled me to her for a hug. I was so moved and so privileged to have shared that time with her. It's times like that that just confirm Gods calling. On the other hand went to pieces tonight at service when someone asked about the Octogenarian, going to see consultant tomorrow and prepared for the worst. Hard to be professional when involved personally how do you get over that one?
Sunday, 1 July 2012
So Ileft home thinking I'd find leading worship a challenge today.apparently though according to the comments as people left I had preached one of my finest sermons, and I think that was because there really was nothing of " me" there I was totally reliant on God. When we're preaching we have to listen to what Gods saying to us, two weeks till " the boss" gets back then Lucy the dogs dads away for three hmmm.
Its a hard call this morning. Off to take service, preaching on lectionary passage about Jesus healing Jairus daughter and the woman who'd been bleeing for 12 years, talking about the healing power of touch and my old Octogenarian is fading day by day becoming more and more frail as his illness spreads, so today in my weakness and frailty feeling I've nothing to give ill go in the strength of God who promises in our weakness He is strong. It's different dealing with the sick in the course of " work" when you have to call on your training to deal with how ou feel it's hard when you're involved so Lord in your strength I go.