Awake and worrying

Beem awake since 4.45 hope I'm not going to do this all week, but as the date of assessment approaches the butterflies are taking up residence! Lying in bed going over my call in my head thinking about all the ways over the years God has brought me to this point of knowing that He's calling me to this. At the same time I'm thinking " me Lord" wow how can this be. So hopefully over the next week I'll get some sleep. Im lying meditating on the scripture Thou shall keep him in perfect peace who's mind is stayed on Thee" and while I don't not have peace about it I've definitely got the nerves! I'm as prepared as I can be and can only hope the assessors see beyond the nerves to the passion and conviction behind what I truly believe is Gods calling.

Blonde or brunette!

So there I am preaching from my heart. A. Message I feel That God has given me thinking the congregation are hanging on my every word, what's the comment that I remember at the door? From all the positive comments about the sermon the comment I remember is the undertaker ( hes a member) saying youve changed your hair, I preferred you as a blonde! So now I have a dilemma are the congregation distracted by my hair, should I cover it or is that a bit extreme and Pentecostal for C of S , butisn't t a shame that that one comment overshadowed all the positive remarks made by people who were genuinely touched by Gods word, it's just a fact that if you're in any form of ministry your fair game for people to comment on your appearance, your clothes and you just have to smile. Hey ho wonder if that's how stars feel when the press slate them on the red carpet. Hopefully though if they feel they know me well enough to be " honest" they'll also trust me enough to believe what I say. Even more bizarre I visited a lady in the last stages of cancer who opened her eyes as I walked in to her room and said you've dyed your hair, maybe a head covering isn't such a bad idea

Cardinal Keith OBrien

Preached on Daniel 1 this morning, about having the courage of your convictions and not giving into peer group pressure. We need to stand up or what we believe and get some credibility back instead of watering down our faith to suit work environment, social standing or anything else we feel we have to " conform" to we may not all want to wear crosses. It little by little we're giving into pressure to compromise our beliefs our principles and our faith. Thank goodness for men like Cardinal O Brien who have the courage of their convictions a true Daniel spirit lets all be more like them! Dare to be a Daniel!

DanieL

Had a school assembly ( whole school p 1-7 ) really felt I should speak about Daniel, standing for his convictions how to project that tp 5-12 year olds. Turns out theres been a couple of approaches to youngsters by a man/ men in cars so head teacher gave talk about stranger danger and resisting adults. The wee ones were full of attention older kids probably thought it was above them then I talked about Daniel standing firm against the king relating it to Face book/ Internet twitter etc. and how older kids have to be aware of the danger posed by strangers there and stand for firm for what they know to be right! As usual God gave a word in season, it's sooo encouraging when that happens I really felt it was inspired by God, times flying past with just over a week till A day, hope I'm prepared butterflies taking up residence already!

In the community

Had a lovely time this morning, bumped into one of our young families with their toddler and 6 day old baby
I was with the octogenarian Eliot the young dad was so nice he chatted away to the octogenarian plying him with questions about the area the octo was of course in his element, a little thing but an old man was made to feel interesting. ( and he is) knowing what he does about the local community and the changes over the years that've taken place ( though offering him a cuddle of the baby was out of the comfort zone!) Jesus made everyone feel valued and special so thanks Eliot for being genuinely interested and making an old mans day and mine too!

A road well travelled

In unravelling my " call" yesterday I came to realise that it goes way back probably to my initial call to Bible College of course at that time I'd have been overwhelmed by such a calling and no where ready to trust God and go for it but the seed was sown and now ready to burst into fruition ( I hope!) reflecting on life changes over the years I'm now on the perfect lace to respond to God fully I now realise and this time of waiting especially recently has mad me look at my faith in a deeper and more reflective way, considering each day how God has spoken to me, opened the scriptures, confirmed He's there rooting for me, have prepared hopefully, and am ready, pressing question now is what to wear, it's all day so you want to be comfortable but at the same time as if you mean business, so major problem here. There's now also so. Much going on on my head I wake in the night with so many thoughts eek, countdown time indeed.

People pleaser

Had a great meeting this morning just talking through issues relating to my assessment, one interesting point that came up is "
Am I a people pleaser" could be that I am. I need to be more assertive and like Daniel be a God pleaser
Daniel was just a teenager, yet he stood up for his values and didn't compromise in the slightest and most importantly he did it with grace, we're representing God here we don't need to be backed into a corner and " go with the flow" just because we're Christians, we can still lead from the front and bring Godly wisdom and grace into the situation. Felt affirmed and encouraged in a way I haven't for a long time, just need to keep working to address the areas of weakness (tendency to digress etc) and keep focused on the journey and Gods hand on my life. Closing doors opening them, leading me into new things. Scary stuff! But I know He's been with me I can see his hand on my life so I pray all will be well.