On the brink

I've felt strangely detached and a bit emotional today, as I stand on the brink of ordination. Conscious of the responsibility of God's  call on my life and that even though I'll still be the same person tomorrow night. I will be different and always looked upon as different, called and set apart to stand in the place of Christ. Will I feel different I wonder. This has been a long day, and I've reflected quite a bit on the path that led here. The ups and downs, those who shared so much of my journey and who are no longer here. It's been strange too receiving letters and cards addressed to "Rev" cos now there are two of us! The one constant and faithful companion who has been before me behind me, above me, below me and beside, still upholds encourages, strengthens and empowers me. Thank you Lord.

Two sleeps

Very busy week last week culminating in swapping pulpits with my interim moderator because here was a baptism where I'm locum. He must have the most scenic picturesque parish on Scotland especially yesterday, driving along the coast with the sun out . The congregations were lovely ( though no one told me there was a radio mike at the first church and the  woman on Bilble carrying in duty ws less than welcoming. After second service the interim modertor turned up on his way home to see how the innovative cup of tea tht was threatening to divide thechurch! (Don't ask)! And he told me they ant me as their minister where I'm locum ing which is very affirming for me though sadly not possible! Discovered after service there were at least three other ministers in the. Ongregation and a couple of them shred they  felt the message was very relevant to their situations at the minute which I was reall encourage by, so two sleeps I feel quite calm at the moment but my ma arrives on Wednesday ...... .. Not good ........

Long day

Been a long day with two funerals one this morning and a huge one this afternoon. Must admit when I walked out to face more thn 500 people I nearly got stage fright! But then I sensed God right beside me saying this is what I called you to and immediately I felt at peace. Have had so many positive comments  from people who were there and feel really blessed.  Also got sorted with baptismal font. My lovely church officer is having moved from the plinth onto the floor so not need to worry about me being vertically challenged just need to worry about the liturgy!

Interim moderator

Had a meeting with my interim moderator this morning who confirmed that my present congregation are thrilled to have me (as I am to be with them) we discussed the complication of everyone knowing who you are  and chatting away as if you should know them and ow awkward it could sometimes be, but it does get easier as you see the same people week y week! Then just happened to bump into a parishioner in the supermarket who rushed across to say how well may sermons are going down and also as a parting remark its been noticed I have a tattoo on my ankle ( o my). Busy busy week with three funerals one tomorrow two on Friday and all the preparation not to mention Sundays service but hey I've an ordination next week I am walking on air! Those who Walton the Alford shall renew their strength they shall  rise on wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint! ( must admit though I am a bit tired!)

Counting the days

I feel very humbled and also affirmed by the comments after yesterday's service. They like me! But more importantly I feel a great sense of being just where God wants me to be at this time, and really feel that He is using me. On a practical level only ten days till my ordination and I feel a great desire to withdraw and " be still" before God. This is unlikely to happen as I'm doing pastoral cover for two two neighbouring parishes as well as my own and already have three funerals, and its only Monday! Also had a look at the baptismal font yesterday. I'm only 4foot 11. The font is a lot 4 and a half feet tall, its set on a plinth (about a foot high) I'm slightly panicking, will have to investigate further on Thursday before funeral as I have first baptism four days after ordination!

Official

It's official now. My ordination date agreed at presbytery last night is 10 July!!! Less than two weeks away. As it was called I was aware of a whole host of butterflies taking flight in my stomach, and now I'm nervous and in awe of the responsibility of my calling but I am so excited that a new journey is about to begin. I also have my first baptism booked for the 14th of July. So now on to the practicalities of holding a wriggling baby, saying the words and sprinkling the water at the same time as trying to look like you know what you're doing! Eeek!

Two weeks!

Only two weeks to go  and I feel challenged excited and at peace, It still doesn't seem quite real and asi look back at my journal from last are and see just how much my life has changed I am so thankful that God has been with me supporting me and keeping me in the hollow of His hand through trauma and joy. I still miss my Oldie more than I ever imagined and I know how proud he would have been and thou I got through both childrens weddings dry eyed I think my ordination might be rather more emotional! I've been conscious these last weeks of time flying by and so dipped again into Henri Nouens book a silence and a shoutin ( out of solitude) a bery short book of reflections leading into time spent in quietness and contemplation. It's easy to let " busyness crowd  God out"