Post probationers conference

I had a moment of clarity during the conference when realisation struck me WOW I AMA PROBATIONER. I felt so humbled, overwhelmed, blessed, amazed. So much to reflect on from the conference, high point had to be Doug Gays session on the Eucharist, so much to think about in there, and George Whyte, who made church law so interesting and user friendly,  so I'm back again blogging from the bed side of my Oldie who was so pleased to see me I just pray now for a peaceful release for him,  and that he finds his rest at last. So many issues came up at conference the weekend flashed passed and though I was disappointed at being at the Rob Roy it actually meant 2 full nights sleep which I've not had for at least a month and going by some of the faces this morning there wasn't a lot of sleeping time in the house last night, so, so much to reflect on  and learn from,  and so much diversity within our kirks we heard from one minister who preaches for 10 minutes 15 tops then later in the morning another who preaches for FIFTY minutes to an HOUR every week and spend TWELVE hours in preparation ( that's one hour for every five minutes spoken!) hmm!

Gartmore

Almost on the home stretch initial disappointment in that there are so many of us some of us were sent to stay at the Rob Roy which didn't engender such good fellowship. Highlight has been the Eucharist with Doug Gay, it was so though provoking and so rich in ideas it was also delivered in a humerous engaging yet deeply informative manner!  Church Law eek there 's been so much to reflect on and here on the last day my Old Man is still with us and I must admit  I'm anxious to be on the road there's so much to info in the brain at the moment I think I'll have to take the quiet times this week to unravel it and that was with only half of me in attendance! Now I just want to be home next conference in March is the week before the youngest child's wedding so no pressure there either:)

C day

Today's the day I go off to probationers conference leaving behind my dear Old Man who is tenaciously hanging on to life. My dearest wish is that he's still here when I get back on Sunday, having journeyed this far with him I'd like to be with him at journeys end. I'll have to rely heavily on God this weekend to keep me focussed and trust in Him, I've a three and a half hour drive to get to Gartmore so ill need t be alert not easy after many nights of broken sleep but I hope and pray ill get the most I can from the weekend and not spend the time wishing it away,  highlight of the last week was when he and the youngest child sat looking through binoculars at the neighbours across the road to see which paper she was reading, so many happy memories and laughter even these last weeks.

Probationers Conference

Going off to Gartmore on Friday. Big wrench leaving my Oldster behind when I've been with him constantly for what seems like months and just waiting ESP since the syringe driver was fitted a month ago, I just pray that nothing happens while I'm away, I'd be gutted! On a practical leve, I've never been to Gartmore is it cold, does it have a kettle in the room. Hope my brain receptors get in gear because it looks like a very full programme. I am looking forward to it just hope I can be positive and focussed, and Gods never let me down yet!

Blogging

Anyone else having trouble posting? I keep getting an error totally frustrating

Jelly babies

Service went really well yesterday especially the children's talk about. Jelly babies and their secret code, there was some really encouraging feedback at the door. Only four sleeps till probationers conference and a urge document to read! also had meeting this morning with placement supervisor, not sure this is going to be a positive experience, he's extremely liberal and thers no half way so will need wisdom and confidence also to remember he 'll be writing my report. Got to stage yesterday where I felt I was juggling too many balls also watching Oldster getting more frail and confused is upsetting little problems take on huge significance:( need to keep perspective and focussed on God, as well as that since the upgrade came in for I pad it's been nothing ut problems, lost all my history and book marks grrr

Moving moment

The youngest child was with me today keeping the Oldster and I company. I'd been doing something and came through to find her moisturising his hands with hand cream. She is so patient with him and so caring towards him it was quite a moving moment. A bit later I heard them both singing scales well the oldster was the child is completely tone deaf  ( she says in her head she sounds like Adele!). It was a relief to me as he'd said yesterday he didn't feel part of the world ( think its the drugs) then a wee while later they each got binoculars to see if they could identify which newspaper the neighbour across the road was reading!! He still has his humour and is as quick as ever. It was almost like Godwas assuring me that there is still quality of life there, it was good to see his interest perked even for a short time between the long sleeps. Only 6 sleeps till probationers conference and there 's a huge document on The Sacraments to be read I can't say I haven't got time but due to sleep deprivation don't know if I'll manage not to fall asleep while reading it!!